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Perfectionism


Short & Nutra-Sweet
By: JWD


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 Blog Entries
The Great Debate - Mar 27
The Great Debate that I am referring to is the one about testing and injecting/pumping in public places.  Through the years I have seen various reactions to my ...
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Cult of Personality - Mar 16
Anna you have set me to thinking about the connection between diabetes and personality.  I would love to hear from other T-1s out there on their views about how diabetes ...
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Perfectionism - Mar 13
Perfectionism, noun; A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.  American Heritage Dictionary.    ...
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Spring Fever - Mar 07
March came in like a lamb here in Michigan.  In one day, most of the winter snow is gone.  Yesterday, Friday, the weather was as clear and sunny as the Great Lakes ...
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A New Study - Mar 05
First I would like to say that I am thrilled with the responses to my entries on this website.  It is so easy to feel alone with Type I.  And yet, there are so ...
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Posted: Mar 13, 2009 12:48
  • 1 Comment.
  • Perfectionism

    Perfectionism, noun; A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.  American Heritage Dictionary. 

      As a child of two critical parents and a T1 Diabetic, I struggle with perfectionism every day of my life.  It has only been the last decade or so, that I have successfully stopped being obsessed with being perfect.

    In some ways I believe that perfectionism has caused more damage than the disease of diabetes itself.  The ideal of being perfect has a powerful hold on most of us, and it is expected in our culture.  We are obsessed with being "Number One."  Or as a one t-shirt pointed out to me, "Number Two Is Only The First Loser."   The power of the mind over the body is well documented and even Western Medicine has come to accept the power of the mind over disease. 

    I tend to average eight to twelve finger sticks per day.  And eight to twelve times a day I am grading myself on my ability to be a "compliant" diabetic (right now the grade is 77).  Since 1980, when I bought my 1st glucose meter, at a cost of $300, I have been grading myself on a blood glucose scale.  Prior to 1980, I was graded, but on a different scale, 1st with urine in a test tube, then with urine on a strip.  These techniques relied on a color chart that graded on a negative, 1+, 2+, 3+, 4+ scale, and sometimes could be subjective.  All of this number crunching has reinforced the need to be perfect.

    So, one day I woke up and decided not to be perfect.  Just like that, I began making a conscious choice to allow good, to be good enough.  At 1st this was difficult and frustrating but I continued to try to be "human" and not "perfect."  Still today I fight the allusion of perfection by intentionally making mistakes and consciously deciding that being good is better than being perfect.  The 1st thing I noticed is that my blood sugars came down and my HbA1c began to hover at approximately 6.1%.  Now, I was really intrigued with my grading/perfect concept and I wondered where it might take me.

    I constantly remind myself that Mother Nature herself, is not perfect and if this is true, than why did I expect any different from myself or others?  Once I began to grasp the idea I found that I was able to laugh and sing and dance without self censure.  What freedom, at least in my mind, from the constant worry about the what ifs in regards to diabetes.  This disease is not entirely understood by the medical community, so I have to give myself a break and allow myself some wiggle room.  I know myself better than anyone else (including the diabetic police), so I continue to find my way through this world,  without holding my breath or suffering sweaty palms.

     

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  • By: FatCatAnna: Mar, 13, 2009 14:39 PM

    Clapping away here - excellent post (you should consider writing a book about your life experiences with our "roller coaster ride" hiccup of life).

    I am very lucky that my parents basically left me to my own accord - and I goofed up a few times over the years (and still do - heck - it's part of living life).  To aim for perfection is just not in my game plan either - never was - I do my best - and am happy with the results (well - not when I buy the wrong hair dye and my hair turns ORANGE). 

    Anyway, joking aside - aren't you glad the days of urine testing are over now?



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