I still am looking for that “purrfect” occupation that suits my pen name to a T. As a child, I wanted to be a truck driver – what a cool job with a monkey as your travelling partner – like B.J. and the Bear – but then my Dad told me that “you’ll get hemorrhoids with sitting down all the time” (that by the way is passé with truck seats with air compression in them). Next it was to be a draughtsman just like my Dad. I showed up to an information session – full of all boys (I was in grade 8 – preparing for entry into high school). My Dad sort of squashed that idea as well (and later on I was told by a college teacher when I was taking a sheet metal course he said I would make a great draughtsman). Sigh.
So, with my love of animals, I decided to take up my next occupation since I’m slowing becoming an adult now. I decided last week to start training as a lion tamer.
Scratch that idea and back to reality – lions are meant to be Born Free!! I did try my best as you will see by my notes below which are being written under the influence of “drugs” (legal).
Day One – holding young 6-8 month old female lioness (kitten) in my arms after she’s had a nourishing meal and cuddle – but then voracious (but dumb) male lion (named Zorro) comes into kittens view. Kitten hisses – starts to take off out of my arms – I tighten hold – BIG MISTAKE.
Shock sets in after I release kitten – which has now chased Zorro upstairs to battle out the domination of the ruler of the territory. The brief holding of this sweet kitten has resulted in slashes and deep bite mark on my left arm. I am used to blood due to my having diabetes, and quickly stumble to bathroom to take care of wounds and sterilize them as best as I can.
Rest of the day is a blur – am abit fearful of kitten (which has no name yet – maybe Fred?) – she doesn’t seem to know she’s slice ‘n diced my arm. She is VERY affectionate.
Day Two – bite marks and redness surrounding area not looking good. I check with local voodoo doctor to see what to do – they advise me to seek the help of clinic nearby in our village. Still in shock, I manage to get into my Land Rover and drive off to the clinic on dry dusty roads. Five hours later – I am seen to by a young GP – she is not pleased with my wounds. Silently she has chuckle about my scribbles on ER form that “I no longer want to be a lion tamer”. Tetanus shot, followed by prescription for antibiotics meant for an elephant to consume ( ratio-aclavulanate (875 mg-125 mg) C ) are prescribed for next 7 days. Also told to get x-ray taken next day. I tell the GP since in the past when I was much younger I found antibiotics caused yeast infections. She advises a probiotic (I later find a chemist who sells me probiotic formula double strength acidophilus & Bifidus pills by Natural Factors). I go home, feeling defeated and exhausted, but glad I did this journey to the clinic.
Day Three – spending time in clinics is right boring. No Wi-Fi – unable to surf the web. X-rays are taken to see if any bone has been damaged where lioness bit into me. I feel the antibiotics starting to wear me down – despite the good they are doing at clearing up my infection.
Day Four - Off to the village clinic again for a follow up. Few hours later, GP tells me that I am healing well and to continue with warm salt water compresses on arm to aid in healing. Good old fashioned medical advice! I hurry on home as I am ready to drop off to sleep, am exhausted. A neighbour nearby on the next plot of land (she raises wild dogs) comes by for a chat and a cup of coffee. During that time, the lioness escapes from the confines of her cage and takes off. We manage to capture her before another lion called Burt comes into her view. He would have become a slice ‘n dice victim for sure. All is well, as we share a peace pipe amongst ourselves to ward off the stress of the day. Life is good.
HELP - this black cat needs a name - if anyone can come up with an "unusual" name besides Fred or Wack Job (both my husbands ideas) - I will be forever grateful!